boutell: (shave)
Please note: decimals are only approximate as roman numeral fractions are base twelve.

STAR TREK I: THE MOTION PICTURE

STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

STAR TREK III•: ACTUALLY A TOTALLY NEW MOVIE BUT MARKETING SAID WE COULDN'T GO WITH IV YET

STAR TREK III• NT: THIS MOVIE NEVER SUDDENLY STOPS PLAYING FOR NO REASON BUT IT CONTAINS NO PRETTY SPACESHIPS AT ALL

STAR TREK IIIS NT: NO REALLY, THIS ONE WILL PLAY TO THE END

STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME

STAR TREK IV NT: THE VOYAGE WORK

STAR TREK IV•: THE VOYAGE HOME ONLINE

STAR TREK V: WHAT DOES WORK NEED WITH A GAME PLATFORM

STAR TREK IV:·:: WHAT DOES HOME NEED WITH MULTIPLE USERS

STAR TREK V•: FIVE UNDISCOVERED EDITIONS

STAR TREK VI: THE COPY PROTECTED MOVIE YOU COULDN'T WATCH

STAR TREK VI•: SORRY WE PISSED OFF SEVERAL GENERATIONS

STAR TREK VI••: ACTUALLY AN UNRECOGNIZABLY DIFFERENT MEDIUM THAT ISN'T FILM AT ALL WITH A FILM STAPLED TO IT. PLEASE RUN UP TO THE FRONT OF THE THEATER AND TOUCH THE PROJECTION SCREEN TO CONTINUE

STAR TREK VI•••: PROJECTION SCREEN NO LONGER CATCHES FIRE WHEN YOU RUN UP TO THE FRONT OF THE THEATER AND TOUCH IT TO CONTINUE

STAR TREK VI••••: SORRY WE PISSED OFF ALL THE REMAINING PEOPLE. IF YOU STILL HAVE EYES YOU MIGHT ENJOY THIS MOVIE. HEY WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
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Just saw the David Tennant / Patrick Stewart / Penny Downie Hamlet.

Two comments:

1. fuck yeah! This is a great production, generous in length but not painfully over-complete like the Branagh version. It's just about everything it could be without taking major liberties. Stewart and Downie are masterful and Tennant's eternally sophomoric personality suits Hamlet well.

2. Yet another version in which rocks fall, everybody dies and they don't bother to tell us WHO IS KING NOW, which would have driven Elizabethan audiences totally batshit. This is one thing the Branagh version really nailed, with Fortinbras' special forces infiltrating the castle during the fencing scene.

It's on Netflix. Definitely worth waiting for the red envelope to arrive.

Short shameful confession: I totally thought Penny Downie was Edie Falco for the entire film. I've never heard of Penny Downie before but I'm a fan now.
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Walter Koenig and Nichelle Nichols served as best man and best lady at George Takei's wedding yesterday. "The best part," said Nichols, "was not having to kiss William Shatner in this episode."
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George Takei to marry at 71. Aw.

That said: there are so many dumb jokes to be made about this genuinely heartwarming event that I get fatigued just thinking about it. Just grab a pile of Star Trek scripts and start digging. It might be easier to compile a list of Sulu quotes that aren't potentially funny in this context.
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Oregon Representative David Wu explains U.S. Iraq policy with star trek analogies...

And Jon Stewart follows that up by interviewing certain experts on the subject. Hijinx ensue.

What kills me about this piece is that Wu's analogies make perfect sense to me.

September 2014

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